Disclaimer: Covid has brought the death of 400,000 Americans over 2020-2021. You’d have to be a hermit not to know this. Oh, wait…… I am a hermit. Okay, so I decided I needed a little bit of laughter to balance out the week and finish strong. I dedicate it to all of us who have masked up, not shown up, and forgotten how to even converse with people.

1. When looking for a job, you don’t have to grit your teeth and ask if you can work from home. You not only CAN, often, they will INSIST on it.
2. For teenagers, if they claim a sore throat, stomach trouble, etc., they can expect to be quarantined in their room. If they are away from their computer, school is OUT until a Covid test clears them.
3. Even bored teenagers will beg to ride with you to the grocery store, just to go somewhere. Cheap thrills are plentiful.
4. My daughter occasionally will take her four daughters to Target, near to closing so there aren’t many people there. She will set her timer for ten minutes so they won’t be exposed to anything for very long. That’s all the time they have there. Little time to overspend.
5. No one sees into your home to know if your bed is made, your toilets are sparkling clean, etc. I’ll do it tomorrow….maybe…has become my motto.
6. You save a lot on clothes because it’s laborious to order them online and have to return them, plus, you’re not going anywhere to be seen, anyway.
7. One of my friends just booked a Southern Caribbean cruise on the newest Celebrity ship for November. If she needs to cancel out, she can. Her airfare to Fort Lauderdale on Delta, round trip? $1.
8. Seeking out and actually acquiring a Covid vaccine appointment feels like acquiring a Cabbage Patch Kid in 1983.
9. Naptimes have been plentiful. We’ve been hibernating through the year.
10. You can go to almost any restaurant and they will bring your meal out to you.
11. You can go online and order anything from Kroger, Soft Surroundings, Pet Smart, etc., and they will bring your order to you without you having to step into the store.
12. You can actually have a number of grocery stores and restaurants deliver to your door for a small fee.
13. You never lose your purse, keys, or anything else because you KNOW you haven’t gone anywhere to lose them.
14. You can wear your slippers all over town because you’re not going to get out of your car.
15. You have time to be friendly to neighbors walking by. I have two chairs on my patio, six feet apart. Like a spider, I sit and wait for someone to walk by. I urge them to sit down, and then I talk them TO DEATH. Would that be called, “Death by Covid?”
16. People who suffer from OCD don’t have to be embarrassed about washing and sanitizing too much. We ALL are.
17. It’s now the simple things we value most: when you score toilet paper, paper towels or Clorox wipes, it feels like you won the lottery.
18. You don’t have to worry about lipstick anymore, or that slight mustache. The mask covers it all.
19. If your hair or nails look bad, you just blame the pandemic.
20. Comfort is king. Warm blankets, soft slippers, pjs you can wear all day long….are coveted gifts.
21. Flu and colds are in short supply as we mask up and stay secluded.
22. You can blame the Pandemic for your mood, your appearance, your lack of ingredients, ANYTHING!
23. Money has been saved. No trips. No new clothes. No opportunity to browse and overspend.
24. You have many opportunities to be helpful and generous toward others who are struggling.
25. Zoom cameras don’t capture what you wear from the waist down.