IN A RELATIONSHIP by Marilee Alvey

When I started on Facebook in 2009, it served to inform people about Larry, a distant second to Caringbridge. However, after he died, it helped me immensely. I had never lived alone before. I married Larry at 20 and went from their home to his! Suddenly, this extravert was left completely alone.

That first year, the winter snows came to Illinois. I was even more isolated. However, friends on Facebook were putting funny memes about winter that kept me laughing. We were all posting what comfort foods we were fixing as the snow flew! Chili, stew, pot pie, hot chocolate……. When the snowflakes settled and before the plows came, we all went out and shared photos of what our little corners of the world looked like, immersed in a heavenly silence, pure and white.

ENTER POLITICS

Facebook seemed harmless at first. We didn’t realize that the media had picked up on our views and shared only those that would pertain to our interest. We became polarized. NOT MY PRESIDENT came into use. Those in favor of the president pointed out that the office, itself, deserved a level of respect. Others pointed out that, yes, literally, that man WAS our president. The other side would taunt with, “Now you know how it feels….” Sides changed. New president. Now a different group was saying NOT MY PRESIDENT and the other side was saying, “Now you know how it feels,” “respect the OFFICE,” and “he literally IS your president.” We became more and more polarized. People began to make names for our presidents, like O’BUMMER, TRump, orange baboon, etc. You could be posting a recipe and someone would make a comment to somehow link it with the current president, and the bashing began. The media had fed us, had created us. I saw what was happening. I tried to encourage people to be nice, to be kind, but it was like standing in front of the bulls of Paploma. I couldn’t stop it.

The final straw came when I elected (ironic word choice) to have all political ads, etc., removed from my page. That worked UNTIL the votes were questioned. Suddenly, President Elect Biden was called Presidential Elect before the dust had settled. There was a pop up ad that appeared anytime I wanted to post anything at all. “Check on the election results” was touted with subtitles about Biden being Presidential Elect. I said, “No politics” and I meant it! Yet, this one I couldn’t delete. It was as if they were saying, “Here’s your medicine. It’s good for you. Take it.” I began to see manipulation. People would post and it would be deleted or a fact check would appear.

All the name calling, the hypocrisy on both sides and the manipulation convinced me that I had to turn my back on Facebook. It was not the happy home I’d known for ten years. It saddened me greatly. It had been a wonderful lifeline for me. It bridged the gap of loneliness and isolation. I find it hugely ironic that I am now leaving, at the height of a pandemic which has made me social isolate! Only God could strengthen me to change like that!

Covid-19 brought me many lessons. I got to exercise my faith muscles. I learned patience. I learned to accept that I couldn’t always have what I wanted, whether it be toilet paper, paper towels, neighborhood card games, shopping, dining out, or elected officials.

Humans have always struggled for control. God had to put us in time out in 2020 to learn that we are not, nor have we ever been, in charge of anything but our own attitudes and behavior. My God tells me that I am not in charge, but He is. He can see way out. He has 20/20 vision, case in point: 2020. I cannot. I pray for His will. It’s far better than mine, but sometimes he has to drive me through some pretty rough neighborhoods that can be very scary. He will get me through safely.

I don’t know what God’s plan is for this time but it’s a good one. Will he bring about Revival? Will people draw closer to Him as they are fearful? Will we see how unkind we are toward others? Are we just watching the beginning of the end, and will be carried Home safely before the worst? Will we be here for the worst of it and use our ‘golden parachute,’ our Get Out of Jail Free card? I have no idea. I only know that one day we will totally understand and approve.

My hope is that we will stop pointing fingers and learn to actually listen, not just to the substance but the emotions behind it. Remember: we’ve all been brainwashed. Both sides. We are taking the word of the media for things that happen. We weren’t there. Neither was the media.

I hope that we pray for President Elect Biden. He needs it. This country is so divided. He will require cooperation. Let’s see what he will do. Every president deserves a chance. We have to cooperate when it is a good idea. Not hold back just for spite. We need to pray for President Trump. He is in a very tough position, being threatened with impeachment with days left in his term. Argument aside, he believes votes were stolen. Pray for us all, that we will turn our swords into plowshares.

You know, I’d been gone a week before I was convicted to post that I was leaving. People would comment, people would tag me, they would worry about if I’d caught Covid. I had to go back and post. When I did, I felt a dread when I entered, an uneasiness I cannot explain. I wasn’t clicking on anything, just leaving a post, yet I felt a darkness. Once again, the next day, when I wanted to post to assure people I would be writing a blog, that I could still encourage others, I felt the very same darkness descend. I couldn’t wait to get out. Weird. So weird.

Now that I am out, now that I can encourage and not be discouraged, now that I have tossed out Direct TV and all news, I have a heart that is finally at peace. I feel joyful again. The turbulent storm I had endured was over. I’ve done what I can. I voted. I live in Georgia, so I voted twice! I did my best to make a good decision. In the end, God is in charge. I want him to be. It’s too heavy to rest on my shoulders. Why did it pass his filter? What will He do? I have no idea. He has yet to consult me on anything. I have laid it on His desk where it’s always been. Reminding myself that he is God and I am not has been such a feeling of freedom.

You know what? This story of my life and yours? It has some thrills, chills and spills……but it ends well.