GETTING OLDER IS A BEAUTIFUL THING

I gave up coloring my hair in the Fall of 2007. At that time, I had three grandchildren, a 3 year old granddaughter, 1 year old twin granddaughters and my first grandson coming on New Year’s Eve.

I chose to do it for my health. My naturally black hair had been colored for so many years that I had to color it every 2 weeks. That dye was seeping into my brain. I figured I didn’t need an Alzheimer’s excelerant. I was 56 years old at the time. I had no idea what color my hair was. When I went in to see how I could be helped with the process, I told my longtime hairstylist that I wanted to go gray. She said, “You mean white? Your hair is totally white.” Hence, the skunk stripe was so noticeable! Made sense. I’d thought it through to gray, but not white. However, I figured, it is what it is. I still need to be healthy. She took out my color and made me an ash blonde. I look bad in blonde shades, sadly. My plan as a little girl was to finally get to color my hair blonde when it turned gray! I wanted to look like Karen in the Mousketeer Club with her cute blonde braids. I had black, curly hair, so I was always assigned the role of Annette in my play group. Ooh, I didn’t like the looks of Annette at all! Meanwhile, over on the other side of town, my soulmate had a huge crush on the girl that lasted well beyond the Mousketeer Club….but that’s another story.

One of the biggest hurdles I had to face was that I knew I’d look older. I had always looked so young that I could go to Six Flags and win prizes because they’d guess me, at age 40, as 16, IF I made my teenage kids disappear when I went. I was pregnant with my first child when I was scolded for trying to buy lipstick! The saleswoman didn’t see I was pregnant and thought I was too young to be wearing makeup!

I had to have a heart to heart talk with myself. I was happily married to a supportive husband who had the most beautiful silvers in his hair. I would soon be a grandma to four. At what point do I need to lay down the desire to look young? Can’t I learn to be secure with whom I really am? It’s a race I’m going to eventually lose, anyway, so the lessons might as well begin.

I am a widow now, age 66. I can tell you of so many experiences I’ve had, looking older, of course. It’s difficult because, as you know, inside, we are not this old. Our souls have been preset for Eternity, and that doesn’t include the breaking down of our bodies. No more wrinkles, etc. However, it’s nice to be myself, to be my best friend. Those who make it past my age barrier are TRUE friends who have earned my friendship. Who wants to be friends with someone who has rigorous appearance rules? If I pretend to be someone else, that’s who they like. They don’t even KNOW me….and I’m stuck trying to please people by being someone else I’m not. I see why it’s so hard for the Hollywood crowd, don’t you? You are trying to get ‘fans’ or ‘friends’ by looking like a magazine photo, not yourself, and every year it gets harder. In fact, every year my pictures I despised, I treasure now! The difference between a bad and a good picture is about 2 years!

I feel it is up to me to help in the process of aging gracefully. I want my daughter and granddaughters to see a person who gained beauty every year where it counts: I want to cultivate an inside that glows so much that it simply cannot be restrained. I want to be ‘breathtaking’ in a new way! I smile a lot at strangers. Wow, does it ever work! That’s when they see my inner beauty radiating and, sometimes, they remark on what they see! THAT’S THE REAL ME, TOO! I am beautiful! My best makeup now is my smile! It works and can be there in an instant. It doesn’t have to fade in the rain. In fact, it looks even better (because it’s unexpected) in the rain. That’s my best beauty secret. People are more drawn to that inner beauty, but in a different way. They won’t ask for your phone number. They won’t follow you home, but you will leave them with something much more important. “I saw this older woman, today, at the grocery store, coming out of the rain. She looked at me with the most beautiful smile! It was so amazing! I felt happier all day!”

Guess my age in my pictures if you want. It’s not so important to me. I going for the LASTING IMPRESSION, not some fleeting opinion. Am I 40 and look 16? So what? What’s that get ME? I’m no longer in aquiring things for me. I’m more interested in giving to others: a smile, a contentment with life, just the way it is. Maybe I will be responsible for a lot of older women in the future, long after I’m gone, giving away smiles, and teaching the next generations that follow to grow old with grace. How long do you think they’ll tell the tale of the 40 year old who looked 16? That, like looking younger, is fleeting.

To make a difference, we have to be the difference. Here’s a photo of me in the morning. No makeup. Just the smile I’m giving away daily, which, like the Cheshire Cat, will be around long after I’m gone!