My neighbor, Sheila, invited me over for dinner this evening, a simple supper, but you know how that goes: those simple suppers are EXQUISITE! First, we had some rosé wine on Sheila’s porch under the ceiling fan, which was absolutely perfect, then we went inside to have dinner.

Sheila made bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches! Like that’s not going to be good! Corn on the cob? Yes, please! Sheila and I both come from the midwest, she, from the upper peninsula in Michigan, and, I, from Illinois, so we are both corn aficionados!  Dessert was INSPIRED: vanilla ice cream with fresh peach slices on it. It reminds me of several years ago when I told my granddaughters about the song that says, “The rich eat cream on their berries…” Of course, I then had to get some berries and serve them with cream…..and added sugar. This was just like that!!! We got to play Big Boggle, too. We both love word games. I can still beat her much of the time because I’ve been playing it about twenty years longer than she, but she is rapidly gaining on me.

Even better than a simple supper was having a widow friend right across the street from me. When I have plans to go out with a friend, I am just excited, all day, looking forward to it. “I HAVE PLANS!” I want to scream. I have learned so much about how to be alone. Now, I enjoy that, too. Relaxing, reading a book, watching tv, writing my blog, all are wonderful interspersed with special events…..and next week is going to be a lot of special events with my family. I think that work makes us appreciate rest, and rest makes us appreciate work. It’s a balance.

Sheila and I talked of many things on the porch this evening. We laughed at our memories of early struggles with money, kids and vacations and marveled that our kids remember these times with a lasting a fondness, something for you parents out there to keep in mind if you are struggling in that stage right now. Relax. You are in the midst of making cherished memories. Who knew?  We also spoke of how hard we worked when we were young, so it’s nice to take it easy now. I cooked for three children. Sheila cooked for four. Her husband travelled a lot in his job and so did mine. I could go on and on about how hard we worked and the struggles we encountered, but who needs it? I get tired recounting it all! We decided we deserve to be tired now!  We also agreed that we had so many stages in our lives that seem so varied that it seems we’ve lived several lives!

The night of July 8th is Brookhaven’s Deli Night. It will be catered with potato salad, pastrami, roast beef, the whole nine yards. Thanks to our singles’ nights, we have networked with other singles and widows and will be able to save a table just for us singles. It’s not that we don’t love couples. It’s just that sometimes it makes our hearts ache thinking of the what might have beens….and, also, we enjoy doing things on the spur of the moment: movies, dinner out, whatever adventure we think up…..and singles are more free to do those things.

Sheila and I both live in condos surrounded by couples, somehow, but we’ve decided that’s okay. We have each other, and our other friends live on our same street: Brookhaven Circle.

Sheila and I have been so blessed in life. It’s been tough, challenging in spots, exquisite and amazing! Tonight, I ponder over the diamond dust that has fallen on Sheila and I and am filled with gratitude.

Have there been moments, days, weeks, months and years of SHEER TERROR? Absolutely, without a doubt, but we made it through many valleys where we couldn’t see a foot in front of our faces…..and re-entered the light of day. We may have sunk deep into the water and come up gasping for air, but WE MADE IT. We might have some scars.  Troubles may have bent us and worries might have dug wrinkles deep into our skin, but you know what? We are still here to have a glass of wine on the porch and talk about it, and, one day, so will you.